The Fear of Authenticity
How we can confront our truth and love better
What do you seek?
In our trip from the nursery to the crematorium, we’re faced with many choices. Many people. Many ideologies. Many paths and outcomes. It feels like it’s becoming more and more difficult to navigate our ever-complicating world.
We say “communication is key”, but we do we get it? Is it that simple?
It can be. We can learn to live and love far more deftly once we kill our fear.
The Death of Fear
Often times, due to past pains, it can be difficult to speak our minds. We’re scared of putting ourselves out there fully. Deeply terrified, still licking the wounds of past hurts.
Unable to speak our truth.
It can be hard for us to be the first to make a move. To be seen. To say what we feel, what we think, and what we expect from our relationships. We know, intuitively, that fear abhors love and love rejects fear. Yet it can feel easier to hold on to “control”. To be in a position to reject rather than be rejected.
Understand this:
The freedom of compassionate honesty is a wellspring of strength.
The ability to love without borders comes when we push past the pain we’ve endured. Of course, in pushing past that pain, we hold on to the lessons. Loving without borders does not mean loving without standards. Compassionate honesty is not a weakness to exploit.
When we wield compassionate honesty, we refuse to miss the shots we don’t take. We refuse to lose out on more fulfilling and sustaining relationships out of fear for something that won’t kill us.
“The secret to life is to ‘die before you die’ — and find that there is no death.” — Eckhart Tolle
Tolle was speaking about ego death, a concept I’ll explore in the future. But I believe his quote can also refer to the illusion that generates so much fear in us. The illusion that keeps us from loving fully. When we “die” in the liberatory nature of compassionate honesty, we find that we are free from the shackles of fear. We “died” and found no death. Just freedom.
But this compassionate honesty must begin with you.
You must do for yourself before you can do for others. When you discover and understand yourself, fully, you will grow and expand. Your love for yourself will encompass the whole world.
What you do for yourself, any gesture of kindness, any gesture of gentleness, any gesture of honesty and clear seeing toward yourself, will affect how you experience your world. In fact, it will transform how you experience the world. What you do for yourself, you’re doing for others, and what you do for others, you’re doing for yourself.
You have the power to become your full authentic self. Make that decision. Be the person that speaks up, that defines themselves, and shapes their destiny. You have nothing to defend, prove, or be puffed up about. Your true identity is not determined by your ego or this world, only you.
Love is without motive or purpose. Love is its own reward.
Love without borders.
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What is Love?
How different cultures and philosophies have viewed love throughout history.
