Should We Keep Going?
This world is a mess and I’m losing my mind
Murders. Deaths. Disasters. Protests. Riots. Famines. Wars. Invasions. Elections. Prejudice. Economic collapse. Environmental breakdown. Countries aflame. Pandemic.
The 2020s have only just begun.
As many people have noted rather aptly, 2020 sucks. I remember when people thought 2016 was a bad year because we lost Harambe and had to deal with killer clowns. Things were bad then, for many reasons, but things have been snowballing over the past few years. The consequences of several centuries of exploitation and destruction have caught up to us all. Now we’re bearing the consequences (while the authors of our ruin continue to profit).
Things are going to get worse before they get better.
That scares me.
I rarely get personal on my blog, but I suppose now is a good time to share how I’ve been feeling lately.
Since January 2020, I’ve been writing blog posts for Medium. Though I began inconsistently, I really got into the groove in March, and I’ve written every week since then. In a way, the lockdown was a blessing. It helped me to stay focused on my work and my reading.
Things have grown slowly. So slowly. I still only get a few dozen views per post. But every week, I’ve kept going. Kept creating. Kept publishing. I know I should probably take a break. I know I need to relax, grieve, and heal. I’ve been going too hard. So much has happened.
I write for me. This is my dream, I think, to create freely and share my perspective with this damaged world.
I don’t want to be a slave to The Algorithm. I’ve been doing so much — writing short stories, a book, and weekly blog posts, plus producing YouTube videos every other week — yet I can’t help but feel so discouraged. I haven’t met the “markers of success”.
I feel as though I’ve stagnated, even though I’ve just begun.
Should I keep going? Am I boring? Am I distracting myself from the pain of it all? How do I grapple with this awful world? How do I deal with the uncertainty of the future?
Part of the heart of anarchy is daring to go against the grain of the conventional ways of thinking about our realities. Anarchists have always gone against the grain, and that’s been a place of hope.
— bell hooks
I know that a radical transformation of our world is possible. The works of skilled writers like bell hooks, Errico Malatesta, and many more have painted a beautiful picture of what could be.
I don’t have all the answers.
But they help me hold on to my hope.
I said things are going to get worse before they get better. But I don’t think they’ll get better automatically. We need to work for a kinder world.
In times like these, we need each other more than ever.
Please, reach out to those you care about. We need networks of care. Make a meaningful impact, wherever you are, with whoever you can influence.
We need more conversation. We need more support. We need more healing. We need more love. These next few months, and years, are going to be rough. This year has battered us all, and it’s just the beginning.
Take care of yourself.
Peace.
You can follow Saint Andrew on Twitter @_saintdrew and subscribe on Youtube where I share my thoughts, opinions, and art. You can also buy me a coffee.
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