How To Be Your Best Self
A guide to those you must confront on your journey
Throughout our lives, there are three people we must confront in order to become our best:
Our past self,
our future self,
and our present self.
Each of these people have different strengths and weaknesses. Each of these people have different levels of influence over us. For some, our past self weighs on us, an elephant pressing upon the chest of who we are and who we can be. For others, our future self keeps us suspended in the air, entranced in an alternate reality of insatiable ambition.
Our various selves play different roles in our lives. It is only through a healthy balance of all three that we can live a fulfilling life.
The Past Self
Our past selves are our root. They are the source of who we are and who we think we can become. Our past selves are shaped by our peers, our parents and guardians, our exes; those in the past who shaped us for better or for worse.
My past has been a challenge and a relief. I remember the times I spent with friends and family. The sleepovers and church activities. The heartbreaks and persecution. It’s so easy to get lost in the maze of what others say you are. I’ve wasted a lot of time trying to appease those around me at the behest of myself.
Depending on our individual histories, our past may be a spring of great joy or a well of tremendous sorrow. A crayon box of emotions. I believe we all have some mix of pain and happiness from our childhood and adolescence that we should work to confront.
That’s the key. We cannot live our lives in service of or submission to the past. The past self may provide a secure foundation and an insight to our purest joys. Perhaps through confronting your past, hopefully with the guidance of a therapist, you may find a love for architecture or care work that you never seriously considered.
Just know that your past doesn’t define you. You’re not trapped in the box that was drawn for you. You can be greater. But beware of the antithesis to the trap of your past self: the trap of your future self.
The Future Self
While being trapped with your past self may be difficult, equally challenging is the endless treadmill that is your future self. Your future self may leave you in a state of endless daydreaming of what could be. A constant yearning for more. It’s a trap I still stumble into from time to time. Yet by being so enamoured with the future, you neglect what is. You spend your whole life waiting for the future to happen.
There’s nothing wrong with ambition and working towards realizing your future self. Your future self can drive you and instill great purpose in you. But you only have today. You only have this hour. You only have this minute. Life is not set in stone. The future is not guaranteed.
When I was ten, I thought I’d be a politician. Everyone around me said I’d make a great Prime Minister. Yet now I’m still figuring out who I want to become. Confronting my past self and my future self may help, but the power lies in the hands of the present self.
The Present Self
Your present self is who you are in this very moment. With every passing second, more of your life passes by. Focusing on your present self keeps you grounded, sober, and flexible for the changes that life will inevitably bring.
Where are you right now?
Where do you want to be?
Confront your past and future selves. Evaluate who you are. Get therapy. Discover your strengths and weaknesses. Figure out Point A: where are you right now? Figure out Point B: where do you want to be? Then figure out how you’ll get there. What do you enjoy? Who surrounds you? How can you affect change?
Write down your answers. Be prepared to change them. In the beautiful chaos that is life, only one thing is guaranteed: nothing. Your present self is all you can control.
The TL;DR
The role of your past self is to help you understand why. Why are you where you are now? Why are you who you are now?
The role of your future self is to help you stay ambitious and understand who. Who do you want to be?
The role of your present self is to help you stay flexible and understand how. How can you become who you want to be?
To those about to embark in a journey to discover themselves, best of luck and safest of travels. This journey is endless and fulfilling, a path of both hurt and happiness, a path of both mistakes and triumphs, and absolutely worth it.
You can follow Saint Andrew on Twitter @_saintdrew, and Tumblr @saint-drew where I share my thoughts, opinions, and art.
